Welcome to my fitness log

I've created this to keep everything to do with my fitness journey in one place for easy reference.
I've listed links to places I visit regularly or places I think are interesting or valuable resources.

I started doing Crossfit September 22nd 2009 and I loved it - it's totally awesome and it made me a better person in so many different ways!

After nearly 4 years of Crossfit and wrist injury I tried a home fitness DVD for a change and something new - Rip 60 was really great and then I found Beachbody / Tony Horton's P90X!
It's THE best home fitness program ever!!!
It changed my body in so many amazing ways and got my cardio fitness, my core and overall strength including push up strength better than ever before!!

I now do many Beachbody programs as they are all so great.
I 'm a big Tony Horton fan because he makes me work hard but makes me laugh at the same time.
After I completed P90X, I did P90X3, P90X2 and some P90X+. I''ve tried other Beachbody programs including the P90, Piyo, Focus T25,
21 Day Fix Extreme, Country Heat, BodyBeast and Insanity, The Aslyum 1 and 2. Completed 21 Day Fix and 22 Min hard Core.

Did some Insanity Max 30 and Core de Force but my knees can't handle jumping every day so I have to mix them in.
Shift shop is great and looking forward to the new 80 Day obsession.

I'm the fittest I've ever been in my life and still getting stronger every day!

Saturday, 27 February 2010

100226 OHS, FS, BS

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, starrett over-n-unders, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 dislocates with 10 o/h squats.

Day 7 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 11 reps (5,3,3) , chin ups with blue band feet together x 11 reps (5,4,2)

7kg bar OHS x 2, FS x 2 and BS x 2, then 17kg BS

100226
Overhead squat 1-1-1-1-1 reps
Front squat 1-1-1-1-1 reps
Back squat 1-1-1-1-1 reps

Try to increase the load on each of the fifteen sets.

OHS 8 - 10 - 12 - 14kg / 30lb NEW PR - 16 Failed
FS 18 - 20 - 22 PR - 24 PR - 26kg / 57lb NEW PR
BS 40 - 50 - 55 - 57 PR - 58kg / 127lb NEW PR

Realy pleased with my PR's = OHS by 2kg, FS by 5kg and BS by 2kg

Friday, 26 February 2010

100225

Day 6 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 10 reps (4,4,2) , chin ups with blue band feet together x 9 reps (4,3,3 failed 3rd, 1) done this morning.

Warm up:- 200m on elliptical to test if foot ok and it felt fine thank goodness, arm swings/rotations, starrett over-n-unders, 5 push up against pin 2, chin ups with blue band feet together x 4, then pull ups blue band feet about 10" apart x 2, thrusters with 12kg x 3, beginner rope climb x 1

250225
Puppies:
Three rounds for reps of:
1 min Wall ball (6-10# to 6’-8’ target) - subbed thruster @ 12kg / 26lb
1 min Beginner rope climb
Run 100-200m - did 200m on elliptical trainer level 4 without using arms
Rest

Rnd 1 10 - 6 - 2.10mins
Rnd 2 12 - 5 - 2.20mins
Rnd 3 12 - 6 - 2.40mins

Enjoyed this, it was a little different and made a change

Cashout:- KTE attempts x 10 (3,3,3,1) little higher than last time - I'm using a little momentum but dont want to use too much incase I hit my elbows that hard that I come off the bar = would not be good
Chin up - pure negatives - used feet on bar to get up then controlled the movement down - had more control and slower decent than I expected  :n_bigsmile:
Placed bar in rack and used it to assist with feet on for more chin ups x 5 sort of max effort'ish
Took another rest day after CFT yesterday and will try and follow BrandX one day behind and keep up lol

Day 5 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 9 reps (4,3,2) , chin ups with blue band feet together x 9 reps (3,3,3) done this morning.
Chin ups are feeling easier wahoo something is working  ;-) thanks mastroj

I tried an unassisted just to see (mainly because my mum come to see what I was up to and wanted to see me try one) ...er made a few inches = nope,  tried a jumping unassisted errr got about 1/2 way = nope.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

100223 Crossfit Total

Day 4 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 8 reps (4,3,1) , chin ups with blue band feet together x 8 reps (3,3,1,1) done this morning.

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, knee highs, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 5 dislocates with 5 o/h air squats, 5 push ups against pin 2

Tuesday 100223
“CrossFit Total”
Back squat, 1 rep
Shoulder Press, 1 rep
Deadlift, 1 rep -

BS - warm ups 17kg x 5, 27kg x 3, 37 kg x 2, 47kg x 2,
50kg x 1 = Equal last CFT, 55kg x 1 = Equal Current PB 56kg x 1 = NEW PB

SP - 7kg x 3, 12kg x 3, 17kg x 2,
22kg x 1, 25kg x 1 = Equal Current PB, 26kg x1 = F

DL - 12kg x 5, 22kg x 3, 32kg x 2, 42kg x 2, 52kg x 1,
62kg x 1, 72kg x 1 = F (set up was not quite right and dropped the weight forward), 72kg x 1 = = Equal Current PB

Crossfit Total of 56+25+72 = 153kg / 337lbs up 10kg / 22lbs
Compared to 091212 of 143kg / 315lb

Really pleased considering I've been below par for 3 weeks with my foot - my target was to match my current PB's if poss which I knew would give me a new CFT. My shoulder press was sheer willpower I think - slow and steady but got it up there and the DL was shakylegged but one of those 'I know I can I know I can' moments - phew. When I equalled my sqaut PB I knew I could do another kg so went for it  :n_bigsmile:

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Had a rough night last night - spent 3 hours down the hospital - wth my mum - she had a bite than had gone funny on her leg so the stress of that combined with a very late night 2.30am and not the greatest of meals over the last 24 hours I feel pretty crappy today.

Also after doing the back squat wod yestrday and then today I now see Crossfit total - What a plonker I am - what can I say!
So I can't really give my Crossfit total my all today can I, so I think I will try and attack the total tomorrow and then contiue 1 day behind - that way I feel I can get my cashout/skil work sorted safely, without overtraining anything.

I did get my Day 3 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 7 reps, chin ups with blue band feet together x 7 reps done though.

Some good food, a good film, and a good nights sleep is the order of the evening for me.
I knew I shouldn't have done them back squats yesterday - it's Crossfit Total today aarrgghh

Monday, 22 February 2010

100209 done out of sync to protect foot

I didn't want to push my foot with a run and don't have a rower  - I opted to do an older wod that I missed while my foot was really rough 9th feb.

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, knee highs and side to side lunges with overhead press, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 5 dislocates with 5 o/h air squats, 10 push ups against mid thigh high bar at pin 4, 10 blue band assisted chins with feet 12" apart
Warm up back squats of 17kg x 5, 27kg x 3,

Day 2 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 6 reps, chin ups with blue band feet together x 6 reps

100209
Resting 60 seconds between sets:
Back squat 2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2

37 - 39 - 41 - 43 - 45kg / 99 lb - 45 - 42- 42 - 37 - 37

My legs really knew to the 45kg after not lifting much for three weeks so I didn't want to push on and regret it tomorrow. So eased off but completed the wod.

I was thinking about doing some beginner rope climbs when I had finished but not knowing what's coming tomorrow I thought better of it lol - That is the down side to working out on the same day as the wod's issued.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Sunday 100221 "Garret"

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs, a few over and unders, 10 push ups against mid thigh high bar at pin 4, 10 air squats, 10 blue band assisted chins with feet 10" apart, 5 HSPU progs with knees on 8" box

Day 1 of My personal push up & chin up challenge:- push ups against pin 2 x 5 reps, chin ups with blue band feet together x 5 reps

“Garrett” - self scaled
Three rounds for time of:
25 Squats
15 handstand push-ups progs with knees on 8" box (broken as required)
10 blue band assisted chins with feet 12" apart (broken as required)

Done in 13.07 mins
Splits were 4.00, 4.20, 4.47

Cashout:- KTE atempts x 10 (5,3,2) I'm getting a little closer.

Push and chin up goal challenge

Start of my personal challenge to achieve 2 of my goals by sept 2010 - at least 1 full push up and 1 unassisted chin up

I will have been crossfitting a year by then and I want to start focusing on these two goals as I feel they are holding me back - push ups have really stalled and chin up progress has slowed.

Found various stuff on progressions around the net but most people say just keep at it - which I find sort of not helpful grrr I need a bit more of a structured plan.

And thanks to Mastroj of Crossfit BransX community he suggested a 30 day challenge - so as of tomorrow I'm going for it....

Push ups against bar at pin 2 in my rack (just above knee level) x 5, then day after 6 and day after 7 etc
Chin ups with blue band assist and feet together x 5, then day after 6 etc
for 30 days on top of normal wod's done at anytime of the day

I'm aiming at sets of 2's for a start and see how I get on.

Friday, 19 February 2010

Friday 100219

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly inc 5 with 1 kg, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs, a few over and unders, 10 push ups against upper thigh high bar, warmed up muscles with 12kg bar for couple of deadlifts, hang power clean, push press, then a couple of thrusters.  Then a couple more thrusters with 15kg

Puppies+
Three rounds for max reps (not to exceed 20) of:
10-25# thruster - I upscaled to to 22% of BW = 33lb / 15kg
Pull-ups (beginner or assisted okay) - blue band assist with feet together giving least assistance
Rd 1 = 13 NEW PR / 6
Rd 2 = 10 / 5
Rd 3 = 8 / 4

Different sort of wod but I enjoyed it. My wrists were not too happy after yesterdays cleans and by front delts were burning - went to failure on each round ie till I couldn’t complete a thurster and I couldn’t get my chin over the bar.

Cash out:- max reps push ups with increasing difficulty - started with lower thigh high bar which is 3rd pin from the bottom of rack = 8 and failed 9th.
2nd pin = 4 and failed 5th.
1st pin which is just below knee = 2 and failed 3rd.

Thurs 100218 Linda

Warm up= arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored, 10 abmat back extensions, 5 push ups at mid thigh high bar, 4 over n unders, 5 shoulder dislocates with o/h squats with band. + warm up of 2-3's of deadlifts and cleans with 7kg, 12kg, 17kg and then deadlift only 27kg & 34kg

"Linda"

Puppies:
Drop the sets doing 10-8-6-4-2 and use the following guidelines
Deadlift:  up to 50% body weight - I did 50% = 34kg / 75lb
Bench press:  up to 30% of body weight - subbed push up against mid thigh bar due to lack of space (lower than last time by 1 pin I hope)
Clean: up to 25% of body weight - 25% = 17kg /3 37lb
Done in 11.40

Compared to 28 Nov 09
“Linda”
10-8-6-4-2 reps of the triplet:
Deadlift: 1 1/2 body weight - sclaed by 0.25 = 22kg / 48lb
Bench press: body weight - subbed push up against mid thigh high bar
Clean: 3/4 body weight - subbed power cleans with an empty 7kg bar only
Done in 12.33 mins

This is my second Linda and I'm really pleased with my compared progress - not so much on push ups (a real goat got to really start pushing on them now getting near and nearer the floor) but my deadlift weight increased, my squat cleans with good weight over power cleans with hardly any weight and quicker to boot - overall Awesome - How can anyone not love crossfit!!!

Cashout:- Chin ups with blue band assist - feet together giving least assstance x 4,3,2,2
45 deg decline situp ghd style x 8

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Wed 100217 Tabata This

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs, a few over and unders, 5 push ups against upper thigh high bar, 5 air squats, 5 SDHP @ 12kg, 5 beginner pull ups @ chest high bar feet about 3 feet in front

“Tabata This!”
Puppies
Tabata Row - subbed SDHP @ 12kg 9, 9, 9, 9 = Total reps of 36 and a low of 9
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Squat - 9, 9, 9, 9 = Total reps of 36 and a low of 9
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Pull-up - beginner pull ups @ chest high bar feet about 3 feet in front - 9, 8, 7, 7 = Total reps of 31 and a low of 7
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Push-up - against upper thigh high bar - 9, 8, 8, 6 = Total reps of 31 and a low of 6
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Sit-up -  abmat unanchoured - 7, 7, 7, 7 = Total reps of 28 and a low of 7

Total reps = 36 + 36 + 31 + 31 + 28 = 162
Lows of 9 + 9 + 7 + 6 + 7 = 38

My first time doing this one and found it an Interesting workout!!! Quite enjoyed it. Realised part way thru that I set my Ultra timer for ipod touch wrong by seting up 20 secs, 10 secs x 4 then 1 min rest which I realised actually gave me 1 min 10 secs rest each time DOH!!
Up intervals to 5 next time I think - the pull ups were really touch on my arms but I should increase the work next time.

I have no idea some guys do 20 odd reps in 20 secs - just incredible!!!

Cashout:- Chin ups with blue band assist - feet together giving least assstance x 4 and failed to get chin over on the 5th, feet 2" apart x 3 and then failed, feet 6" apart x 3
Knees to elbows attempts x 10 (3,3,4)

Monday, 15 February 2010

Monday 100215 2009 Games final event

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs, a few over and unders, 4 push ups against upper thigh high bar, warmed up muscles with 12kg bar for squat clean, a couple of push press and 2 thrusters. A couple more with 14kg and then upped to 20kg sqaut clean.

After going for an actual slow walk during the morning I got pain in my foot after only about 8 meters  :n_angry: so I hobbled another couple and came back grrrrr so I decided to take anything out of this wod that I thought would upset it further so I did..

Pack scaled as req with omissions.
Women
75-85 pound Squat clean, 10 reps - scaled to 45lb / 20kg (NEW PR)
20 Toes to bar - 10 attempts that were more like knees to elbows
[del]20 Box jump, 20 inch box[/del]
10 Muscle-ups (or progressions) - I subbed 4 push ups against upper thigh high bar + 4 bench dips against same = 1 MU
15-20 pound dumbbell Push press / push jerk, 20 reps - I used 2 x 16lb / 7kg DB's - all push press
[del]20 Double-unders[/del]
65 pound Thruster, 10 reps - scaled to 32lb / 14kg (equal PR)
20 Pull-ups - blue band assisted - feet about an inch for the first few the wider as needed to complete
20 Burpees - I subbed 1 push up against upper thigh high bar and 1 knee-to-elbows attempt = 1 Burpee
[del]200’ Walking lunge with 10-15lb plate or bar held overhead[/del]

Done in 27.33 mins

It was quite a longish slog but I upped all my weights to my known limit or beyond and so I felt good that I had pushed myself, to sort of make up for the ones I didn't do. I daren't imagine what time I would have finished with omission added in phew I guess I'll find out next time.
My arms were so shaky afterwards!!

Friday 100214

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs, 10 push ups against upper thigh high bar, 10 chin ups with blue band assist - feet flat and together for the first 5, then 4" apart then 6" apart but no jumping assist.

Puppies:
Max rounds and reps in eight minutes of:
4 Handstand push-ups (or progressions) - knees on 8" box head to deck
10-24 pound Kettlebell swing, 8 reps - 18lb / 12kg DB swings
12 Situps - abmat unanchoured

Completed 4 rounds + 4 HSPU progs + 8 DB swings

Good wod - I enjoyed this one, a little diferent but good.

Cash out:- Hanging knee raises x 10 (5,5), Push ups against just above knee high bar x 10 (5,5), 6 shoulder dislocates with band and then some power snatch practice. I didn't do max snatch yesterday because of foot and also because I still haven't got a suitable bar - I used my normal one but have to hold on to the screw thread part and still can't really get wide enough to squat with it but thought 10 power snatches with empty 7kg / 15lb bar was better than nothing.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Was going to get another workout done today but my quads didn't love me from yesterday and I also ventruured from the house into the garden again as my foot felt a little better. I cought my foot wrong on the edge of a slab and upset my ankle again grrrrr
Too much too soon came the cry!!!! So decided to just watch the Six Nations Rugby instead!

Friday, 12 February 2010

Thursday 100211

Thursday 100211

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly (5 with 2.5kg on chest), 10 abmat back extensions (5 with 1.5kg on chest), 10 knee highs, 6 shoulder dislocates with band and air sqauts

Puppies/ButterCup mix (I originally thought I was doing puppies with a heavy thruster but just realised I only did 3 rounds)
Three rounds for time of:
Row 250 meters - I subbed 25 SDHP @ 12kg / 26lb
25-45 pound Power clean, 10 reps - I did 12kg / 26lb
10-15 pound Thruster, 10 reps - I did 12kg / 26lb

Done in 12.54
(Splits were 4.05, 4.03, 4.44)

Great WOD for me today. I didn't want to use too much weight because although my foot is getting there (as in I actually walked down the garden today but it made it ache so had to put it up again :( ) I didn't want to tax it too much - was happy to do some lower body stuff properly without holding on to something yay!

My power clean technique felt really good today - I was keeping the bar much closer to my body on the way up - which for me is a major inprovement as I was tending to move away from body ie reverse curl. Was so close a couple of times, thinking about Coach Bergener saying keeping so close it touches your shirt in the video, that I caught my chest a couple of times lol. Maybe that's a little too close!
Thrusters were pretty heavy and had to rest on delts a couple times to get a breather.
I also think my left quad may not love me tomorrow as it hasn't done much in 2 weeks.

Overall great day - first real metcon effect for me in nearly 2 weeks and it a took few mins to recover but wow is good to be back!!!

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

WEDNESDAY 100210

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly (5 with 2.5kg on chest), 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs,
3 x 12kg Push press

Puppies:
30 Wall ball shots, 5-10 pound - because of balance wariness of foot I did half a thruster ie basically a push press with 12kg / 26lb (broken into 15,9,6)
15 L Pull-ups - green band assisted on 1 foot only (broken into 4 then 2's and 1's)
20 Wall ball shots, 5-10 pound - as above (broken 8,8,4)
12 L Pull-ups - as above (broken into 2's and 1's)
10 Wall ball shots, 5-10 pound - as above
9 L Pull-ups - as above (broken into 2's and 1's)
L-sit with both feet out in front - left raised for 10 secs, right raised for 10 secs.

Done in 13.08 mins

Cash out:- Hanging tuck sit for 10 secs x 2

Friday 100129

Warm up:- Warm up= arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 knee highs, 3 HSPU to test height of assistance box = 8 inch, 5 beginner pull ups with bar at chest height, 3 push ups against upper thigh high bar balanced on right foot

Friday 100129
Puppies:
6 minutes Handstand push-ups - 50 - I did beginner HSPU with knees on 8" box
3 minutes Squats -38 - was very wary of these because of foot and the balance needed so I held on to a corner of my rack
2 minutes Pull-ups - 24 - I did beginner pull ups with bar at chest height, right foot about 3 foot away, left foot just resting on heel
2 minute Push-ups - 17 - against upper thigh high bar balanced on right foot (this should have been 1 min but i set the timer wrong DOH and did 2 instead)

Total reps 129

Cash out:- 5 chin ups with green band assist on one foot flat on the floor and no jump to try a more strict and greater ROM than I normally do for warm up or wods - felt pretty easy, so did another 5 with blue band same principal - tough for sure but felt good, felt it more in my biceps than normal so will try some more of these - I think it was the slight feet push assist (making it a little more like jumping pull up) that has stalled my chin up progress DOH! we learn something everyday don't we.

Monday, 8 February 2010

Jumped on wii this morning for another weigh in - lost another 2lb wahoo - which I'm really pleased with since my activity level has been low because of my foot compared to normal but I've not been eating masses either although a little indulgent in dark choclate = comfort food to help with the pain
Warm up:- Warm up= arm swings/rotations, 10 abmat situps with arms cross chest feet unachored butterfly, 10 abmat back extensions, 10 push ups against upper thigh high bar balanced on right foot, 10 bench dips against same bar balanced on right foot, 10 blue band assisted chin ups using only right foot to push with.

12-9-6 reps of

Push ups (balancing on right foot)- 12 against mid thigh bar, 9 against lower thigh bar & 6 against upper knee high
Bench Dips (balancing on right foot)- 12 against mid thigh bar, 9 against lower thigh bar & 6 against upper knee high
Chin ups - blue band assisted - as best as I could

Done in 7.37mins

A better metcon effect for me this one form the last few I've done. Felt good

Cash out:- 45 deg decline situps (ghd'ish) x 6
Weighted abmat back extenstions @ 2.5kg plate held to chest x 6

Saturday, 6 February 2010

JT

My sprained ankle is allowing me to not need it so elevated and it's not so sensitive today thank god - it's going to take longer than I thought (I see that now, I thought it was just a 48 hours and I'll be fine thing but apparantly not - it's still swollen and I still can't put my weight on my flat foot ) but my energy levels were good enough for me to a little something this evening - much later than normal but that's life.

Warm up:- arm swings/rotations, 10 situps, 10 supermans

12-9-6 reps of
Push ups (against the back of sofa balancing on right foot only)
Bench dips (against arm of sofa balancing on right foot only)
HSPU progs (over the arm of sofa)

Not timed as careful of foot but I felt great for getting a sweat on when I haven't moved much at all since saturday

I thought about some one legged squats but my right leg is working hard carry me around in all these silly awkward positions, hips and knees know to it!!
Got to go put my foot up now!!

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Upperbody only due to foot

My foot is still giving my a fair bit of grief and I'm still needing to elevate it thru the day to get some relief but I'm off the pain killers now so that's progress I feel.

The rest of me wants to do something though grrrr

I also tried to walk on it a bit more normally today and grrrrr made it ache again!!!!

I decided to try somethine but stick to the bench because by staying seated as much as possiblle I reduce the feet movement as much as poss.

15-12-9 reps of
Chin/Pull down (seated) @ 20kg / 44 lb
Bench Press @ 20kg / 44lb
Seated Overhead Press @ 12kg / 26lb

and my arms are still shaking lol so definitely know I've done it. Very close to muscle failure on BP and SP too phew.

I know being seated goes against the whole core stability whole body movements thingy but it was the safest way I felt I could at least do something with my foot being so sensitive to movement at the mo!

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Today is major forced rest day for me - during warmup for yesterdays wod I tried a different assist for my chin ups - I usually stretch a blue band across my rack pins and stand on it but I decided to try hanging the bands down from the chin/pull bar. Like I've see in some vids.
I tried a green one looped round the bar and then the blue looped thru that - I tried and didn't make it high enough so I added the black one with the blue one and tried again (with one foot in the bands the other on the floor and for balance) - well I made it and then on the 2nd or 3rd attempt I kicked the barbell resting on the other side of my rack (where I normally bench from) - swore a little a figured I'd bruised my foot and never though any more of it. Did my squat wod and never thought about it again.
Last night after dinner and a bit tv I stoo d up and balance awkwardly on the same foot and got a shooting pain thru my foot and a deep dull ache in the arch area - long story short as the night went I was in agony and I mean 10/10 tears in the eyes pain - so think I may have sprained or badly bruised my foot because after a unbelievable nights unrest today I'm still hobling round like a don't know what - elevated foot and pain killers are the only relief I can get grrrrrrr

I thought I'd be brave and get something upper bady done but on second thoughts I think that might be stupid so gonna give it best for today and maybe tomorrow and see how I am.